


Can't Hold On

by QueensJenn (rocketxsurgeon)



Category: ER (TV 1994)
Genre: Gen, Introspection, One-sided cordano, TW: amputation, man i hated this plotline so much, rocket was SO IMPORTANT to me in high school
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-08
Updated: 2020-05-08
Packaged: 2021-03-03 04:01:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 356
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24068527
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/rocketxsurgeon/pseuds/QueensJenn
Summary: Late at night, Robert thinks.***Originally posted at ffn, many MANY years ago. I was in high school when I wrote this, but I always liked it, at least, enough to clean it up a bit and repost it since I've been on an ER binge lately.
Relationships: Elizabeth Corday/Robert Romano
Kudos: 5





	Can't Hold On

**Author's Note:**

> Like the note in the summary says, this fic is old. Real old. Like, about 15 years, at least. I was in high school when I wrote it. I...I feel very old right now.  
> But I always liked it and recently re-discovered it on an old hard drive, and I've been re-watching ER lately, so it seemed like a good time to post it.

I give up, Lizzie; I give in, you've won. All those years of holding out on me took their toll. I promise to the great gods of whatever that I, Robert Romano, shall never pursue you again, for as long as I live.

Quite frankly, it's nothing to do with you. It's me. My God, I'm a one armed man. What would you do with a guy with one arm? More specifically, a one armed, washed up, has-been surgeon?

You know what I have now, Lizzie? A box of get well cards, a deflated balloon, and memories. That's not a whole lot, when you put in perspective. Ooh, memories! Sure, that's going to help. Maybe if I was a teacher, but I have a feeling my students would murder me in the parking lot after the first day.

Scratch that.

Where was I? Right. No more of this cat-and-mouse game. Its over, I'm through. I couldn't have a relationship right now. How could I hold on to you, when I'm barely holding on to me? How could I love you, when I hate everything else?

Worse, COULD I love you? You are everything I wish I was. Tomorrow, you are going to save the life of a three year old, and it should be me in there helping you. Not Anspaugh, not Weasel, not that prick Dorsett. Am I going to look at you and hate you for the simple fact that you were lucky, and I was not?

No.

No. I couldn't hate you.

So what now, Lizzie? What's next, for the Rocket?

Oh, why would you care? Honestly, why would you give a shit about me or my life or my problems? You've got a beautiful daughter, a father that loves you, and memories of being married. Me? I've got a dog. And a house. And memories of being elbow deep in guts. Not that those are bad memories, but they're not like yours.

Bye, Lizzie. Have a good life. Take care of yourself. Stay clear of the rotors. I can't hold on any longer, but I refuse to drag you down with me.


End file.
